Or, more accurately, hearing the same flawed, mundane rhetoric you've heard for years on end, except now its brought to the lovely University of Utah campus. Well now that the "war" has come to my motherland how can I not toss my two cents in this bipartisan cesspool of rampant ignorance? It's only a tenth of a ramen noodle. I can afford that.
Here's the video.
It was a showdown between the well-known conservative talk show host Sean Hannity and our beloved "part-time" mayor Rocky Anderson. Each were given 30 minutes of mental masturbation, followed by 15 or whatever minutes of a circle jerk between the two oh-so-charismatic gentlemen and the audience. I only wish I was there to scream out verses from the Book of Mormon. That might've completed the night a bit more tastefully. *spit*
Well I must say that Rocky did an awesome job with his 30 minute presentation. Somewhere in the midst of using the words "disastrous" and "complicit" for the thousandth time, I think he was trying to tell us that George Dubya Bush had been lying to us about WMDs and what-have-you-nuculer weapons in Iraq. Maybe Rocky forgot, but when a person truly believes the bullshit that's gratuituosly spewing out of his rectum, that's not called lying--it's called spewing bullshit out of the rectum. Gratuitously.
Ok but seriously, so there wasn't a link between Al Qaeda and Iraq, we didn't find any fabled nukuquclar weapons, and we certainly didn't go through the internationally accepted means of obtaining our goals (which is obviously their oil--Haliburton, you go girl!). But spending hundreds of billions of dollars that could be better invested in education (the Swedes are kicking our asses, by the way), health care, or, gosh, just general economic infrastructure and throwing our really really really real troops at the fray against mindless child suicide bombers is most definitely not sufficient reason to impeach Bush, right? I mean, Cowboy diplomacy worked at some point in our history. I think. Manifest destiny and the wiping out of Native Americans worked pretty well, right? Oh yes, high school history put to good use!
And wiretapping without warrant, detaining U.S. citizens without charges--oh come on! We've been doing that for years! The NSA was practically invented just to investigate your stash of gay porno on remote drive K: hidden under ten layers of folders. This is fact.
So Rocky ended his soapbox lecture with requisite stomach-turning pictures that prove that we're as bad as the Nazis. Disastrous! Complicit! Your esoteric verbiage does not faze me, Mr. Part-time Mayor!
Sean Hannity was brought on board with his wrongfully deserved wailing of boos and applause. His opening remark was a "healthy" personal attack to our part-time mayor; and, when the audience expressed their disapproval, Sean throws a hissy fit. Can't stand the heat Sean? Then get out of our collective sandbox!
When the best argument you have are ad hominem, you know you're in trouble. That's all Sean had on our part-time mayor. Well I should give Sean some credit. He occasionally took a break from personal attacks to spout out the familiar mantra "support our troops" and "Hilary Clinton is a bitch" (Hey! I actually agree with him on that!). Hmm Sean, I wasn't aware that forcing our troops to fight an unjustified war with zero leadership direction in a place that doesn't really want our presence is "supporting our troops." I would imagine that "supporting our troops" would mean taking our troops out of the hellhole and having them fight wars that make any remote sense or...and this is a stretch...letting them spend time with their families? Oh but there I go again, being all wishy-washy.
I suppose its a damn fine thing that Sean isn't president. He stated that if he were president for a day, he would do everything in his power to win the war in Iraq--spending all the resources necessary to get the job done. Funny, I thought that actions were supposed to be based on reality. Not surprising though, coming from a man whose arguments appeal to emotions and not logic, reason, or facts. Such arguments are well-received in academia!
"But if we pull out now then Iraq will go to hell in a handbasket!!!" No shit Sherlock. Maybe we should have thought about that first before diving headlong into a war of attrition, huh? I'll wager my 36 pack of ramen that Bush thinks that the most important chapter in Sun Tzu's Art of War is "how to smash towelhead mudhouses with laser-guided missiles." That would be an awesome read.
I'm not even so sure why I'm taking Sean so seriously. I mean, he certainly doesn't take himself seriously, as clearly evidenced by the fact that his phone rang in the middle of the presentation. Hey Sean, don't miss your opportunity to go golfing with your tax-evading country-club buddies! They'll miss you!
So in the end, Bush won't be impeached (being likened to Mao gave me a good chuckle). Sean Hannity will keep making money hand over fist. Part-time mayor Rocky Anderson will still be our city's adorable laughing stock. Bipartisan politics will continue to cockblock me from voting. And Iraq will still be a ...Disastrous! Complicit! And-so-it-came-to-pass!
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