GPS is so early 2000s

Taxi drivers... can't live with them, can't live without them. At least that's how it goes in NYC. I'm by no means a local to NYC, but this is the 5th or so time I've gone across the country to visit the Big Filthy Apple. On each occasion thus far, the taxi drivers from JFK airport have absolutely no idea where the final destination is, nor how to get there without asking for directions. This isn't just a sad commentary on the state of taxi drivers as much as it is just a comical affair. The discussion usually plays to the effect of "Conrad hotel in lower Manhattan? is that close to x, y, or z?" Seriously? I'm not looking for local hole in the wall restaurant. "It's right by the World Trade Center Memorial, where the cinema is. Opposite the World Financial Center."

20 mins later, we are still circling lower Manhattan... passenger bringing up the location on smartphone. guiding driver to the destination. Is it too much to ask for competent drivers or at least some sort of GPS system mounted on the taxi's dash? I won't even start on the horrendous driving skills and the complete lack of regard for the rules of the road. We need some new minimum standards.

Is this some sort of sick joke?

No ranting today, because today is a special day. It's a shame April Fools' Day only comes around once a year, just like every other day of the year, because it's the one day where people are united around the world in pulling off impractical dumb shit in the name of having fun... and that, we know, is a horrible thing to have. You know how it works, you pull off a seemingly dumb prank and soon find yourself surrounded by people who tell you you should stop wasting your time, stop being unproductive, etc. Well the joke's on them (I'm brilliant with bad puns). By and large, the planning, creativity and execution of even the most simple pranks often goes under appreciated. People fail to recognize the amount of improvisation needed to steer a failing plan into a successful one, and nerves of steel to follow through without breaking character or without letting on in the slightest way. The brightest people I know tend to be practitioners of this lost art...

To be honest, that's not really the reason April Fools' day is one of my favorite non-holiday holidays. For me, today is the one day out of the year, where all the unremarkable things I mess up on can be followed with "oh man... gotcha! April Fool's!"

Pop that 1,565.15 cherry already

Look here S&P 500, if you're going to keep teasing us about hitting new all time highs day in and day out, sooner or later everyone is going to figure out you're that bastard in Aesop's fable about the boy who cried wolf.

Will you please just hit that new high already so the masses can continue on with their mundane lives? If you watch MSNBC, you'll notice that the bottom left corner of the channel has a new tenant whose sole purpose is to inform viewers how far away we are from hitting the new high. It's completely distracting and honestly quite useless... and yet like deer in the headlights, I find myself utterly powerless to look away. Its constant updates continue to lure me into the belief that somehow getting past 1,565.15 will signal an end to the half decade economic crisis we find ourselves in.

I almost can't wait for the aftermath discussions... "will this rally continue?", "what does this mean for the economy?", "Does this signify a new economic reality?" MSNBC, you've been handed the topics. Please keep us entertained.

Guess who's back?

Well, after a 6 year hiatus (which translates loosely and yet quite accurately to "laziness"), I'm back. I mean, it's not like this blog is going to fill up with mindless drivel by itself and let's face it... you're reading this either because you're equally cynical about the world we live in, or you've got more time than you know what to do with (getting a job/exercising/getting away from the computer would be a decent starting point for those in the latter group).

I'm going to try to update this weekly with something I read or experienced during the week that, quite frankly, either surprises or annoys the hell out of me. Why? Because in the past 6 years, the emergence of microblogging has slowly but steadily eroded our collective will to write anything exceeding 140 characters. Thanks Twitter! Microblogging undoubtedly remains a useful medium for those blogging on the go and while I won't deny its intuitiveness and subsequent mass appeal, it is somewhat frightening ridiculously frightening how much "pointless babble" goes on in the microblog universe. Hey, if there's going to be pointless babbling going on, I'm going to do my part and ensure it gets the proper verbiage it deserves.

That said, let the blogging begin.